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by laireshi



Category: Iron Man (Comics), Marvel 616
Genre: Angst, Hallucinations, Iron Man: Director of SHIELD, M/M, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-05
Updated: 2019-01-05
Packaged: 2019-10-02 12:34:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17264315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laireshi/pseuds/laireshi
Summary: Steve Rogers is standing in Tony’s living room in his Captain America uniform with the three bloody holes from the gunshots that killed him.





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**Author's Note:**

  * For [Cap Iron Man Community](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=Cap+Iron+Man+Community).



> For the following prompt:  
> "How can anybody have you and lose you  
> And not lose their minds, too?"  
> Los Ageless - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h9TlaYxoOO8
> 
> Set after the arc Haunted of Iron Man: Director of SHIELD.

Steve Rogers is standing in Tony’s living room in his Captain America uniform with the three bloody holes from the gunshot that killed him.

Tony runs his hand down his face. “It was supposed to be _over_.” 

“Do you think you deserve a peace of mind, Tony?” Steve asks deceptively gently. 

_It’s not real_. 

“No,” Tony replies. He can’t ignore Steve now, not even when he knows it’s just a figment of his imagination. It’s all he’s got left of him.

“Good answer,” Steve says, and disappears.

Tony falls to his knees.

* * *

It’s like a routine, after that.

Steve shows up whenever Tony fucks up: an agent dies, a mission fails, he hasn’t left a suit for two days again.

Tony takes whatever Steve decides to snarl at him that day— _a terrible leader, a liar and a murderer, blood on his hands, an alcoholic with too much power and too little responsibility_.

It’s all true, anyway.

Usually, he disappears after that, and Tony lies awake in bed all night.

Nothing is real, but Steve is dead and Tony killed him.

* * *

Steve’s there when Tony’s filling in paperwork, lying in writing instead of to someone’s face.

 _No unregistered superheroes spotted_.

“They’re only in hiding because of you.”

What does Steve expect him to say? Tony _knows_. He signs the document and reaches for another one.

“ _Don’t ignore me_.”

When Steve punches him and splits his lip, the blood feels real.

Tony’s almost disappointed when Steve disappears.

* * *

Tony’s looking at Steve’s grave. He’s brought flowers, as if it can make anything better.

“You don’t deserve to be here.”

Tony knows. He doesn’t deserve to _live_ , not after Steve.

Steve leans against his own gravestone. “I wish you’d never found me in the ice.”

Tony flinches.

“I’m sorry,” he whispers.

He hopes for a punch, pain as his penance, but Steve knows that, of course. He lives inside Tony’s head.

And Tony never gets what he wants.

* * *

Tony buys Steve’s Avengers card. Anything to keep him close. _Anything_.

“I’m never coming back,” Steve says like a promise. “What if you come to me?”

The way out is clear.

“You keep whiskey here,” Steve reminds with a smile like a lover leading Tony to bed.

Tony shakes his head. “ _That_ won’t defeat me.”

He’s defeated himself. 

He presses his repulsor against his head.


End file.
